we can be friends

Baby books like, “What to Expect in the First Year” don’t include terminology such as, “Audio Verbal Therapy, CT Scan, Ear Molds, Cochlear Implants, BAER Tests, and OAE Tests.  I think I need to write a book called, “What to Expect After My Baby Gets Her Ear Molds?” 

Its been a rough few weeks.  I mentioned to a friend that I thought I was going through some post partum depression, which is unlike me and her response was, “How could you not?”  Her honesty kills me. Love it.

As soon as I get going, emotions pull me back down. I’ve never been an emotional person, yet now they weigh me down like a heavy junior high backpack. I’m falling over!  Hopefully my search for a large locker to store them away in will soon be found.

Raising two children with special needs is beyond anything I ever dreamed.

Most days are fine. it is the times when doctors appointments great distances away begin to pile up on the calendar that I feel overwhelmed, even defeated.  A friend of mine who has a child with a hearing loss recently wrote a very thoughtful post on her blog.  Reading it reminds me I am not alone, so many others “get” how I feel inside and the huge challenge in front of me.

Reese came home from one of her appointments last week with new hearing aids. (She is one of the youngest in VA to be fitted with them…go me!)

At the appointment I felt this incredible sense of loss, that I ran out of time to prove to the audiologist that she really could hear me. With hearing aids she wasn’t going to blend in any more.   In truth, I know she has a serious hearing loss and how much it means in the long run to have access to noise ASAP.  Perhaps its just watching the future I thought I was going to have with her clearly change course. 

As for the boys reaction to her aids, you would have thought she won a beauty pageant.  The boys were doting her, telling her excessively how beautiful she looked in them, how excited they were to talk to her and sing to her.

Alexander had no idea Reese needed hearing aids, so when Zachary mentioned that he loved Reese’s hearing aids Alexander’s reaction was, “What hearing aids?  Who has hearing aids?” Mom, what hearing aids?”  Then he walked over to Reese, saw them and smiled, “I like your hearing aids Reese…we can be friends.  You can be like me!”

The moment was so tender I tried to recreate it just minutes later on camera.  This is what I came up with.

It’s a crazy thing called life that I am trying to help all of my children live to the best of their ability,  My prayer is that life with another child with hearing loss  will be better than I could have ever originally hoped for.