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we can be friends

Baby books like, “What to Expect in the First Year” don’t include terminology such as, “Audio Verbal Therapy, CT Scan, Ear Molds, Cochlear Implants, BAER Tests, and OAE Tests.  I think I need to write a book called, “What to Expect After My Baby Gets Her Ear Molds?” 

Its been a rough few weeks.  I mentioned to a friend that I thought I was going through some post partum depression, which is unlike me and her response was, “How could you not?”  Her honesty kills me. Love it.

As soon as I get going, emotions pull me back down. I’ve never been an emotional person, yet now they weigh me down like a heavy junior high backpack. I’m falling over!  Hopefully my search for a large locker to store them away in will soon be found.

Raising two children with special needs is beyond anything I ever dreamed.

Reese and Alexander

Most days are fine. it is the times when doctors appointments great distances away begin to pile up on the calendar that I feel overwhelmed, even defeated.  A friend of mine who has a child with a hearing loss recently wrote a very thoughtful post on her blog.  Reading it reminds me I am not alone, so many others “get” how I feel inside and the huge challenge in front of me.

Reese came home from one of her appointments last week with new hearing aids. (She is one of the youngest in VA to be fitted with them…go me!)

spring break 010

At the appointment I felt this incredible sense of loss, that I ran out of time to prove to the audiologist that she really could hear me. With hearing aids she wasn’t going to blend in any more.   In truth, I know she has a serious hearing loss and how much it means in the long run to have access to noise ASAP.  Perhaps its just watching the future I thought I was going to have with her clearly change course. 

As for the boys reaction to her aids, you would have thought she won a beauty pageant.  The boys were doting her, telling her excessively how beautiful she looked in them, how excited they were to talk to her and sing to her.

spring break 005

Alexander had no idea Reese needed hearing aids, so when Zachary mentioned that he loved Reese’s hearing aids Alexander’s reaction was, “What hearing aids?  Who has hearing aids?” Mom, what hearing aids?”  Then he walked over to Reese, saw them and smiled, “I like your hearing aids Reese…we can be friends.  You can be like me!”

The moment was so tender I tried to recreate it just minutes later on camera.  This is what I came up with.

It’s a crazy thing called life that I am trying to help all of my children live to the best of their ability,  My prayer is that life with another child with hearing loss  will be better than I could have ever originally hoped for.


MB said...

Please let me know if I can help at all. Just down the road and happy to do what I can. I know the appointments really pile up. I remember how often we had to get new ear molds at that age!

The only thing I don't do great is cook, but I do know all the good take-out places and can deliver to your doorstep. :)

EmmaVerdona124 said...

aw Reese is so cute!
I started wearing hearing aid when I recived amplication around 18 months old :)

Ben's Mom said...

Reese is such a beautiful little girl. What a wonderful moment to capture on video. I'm sorry you have been going through a tough time - as your friend said, right now, how could you not? Alexander will be her guide along her journey, and you will lead the way just as you have with him. You have certainly been blessed with an amazing family.

I am here if you need me - please let me know if I can help!

Hearing Aids said...

what a fantastic blog about great information about Hearing Aids . I wish you all the best.

Jen said...

Not quite sure how i stumbled upon your blog...but here i am :)

I have twins girls {grace & faith} who were born at 23 weeks.

Faith has a profound hearing loss {sedated} and severe in the audio booth...thence has a condition called Auditory Neuropathy. Her brain can hear sounds, but cannot put sounds together or form words 'properly'. Almost as if a record player is being scratched with each sound being processed.

I know the feeling, that is almost indescribable unless you've visited this road of your baby with a hearing loss.

I just wanted to let you know I'm praying for you.

Love your blog, and your kids....oh my soul are they precious :)